Which Moment in This New Kids on the Block Video Will Break You?

As it was prophesied, the coronavirus has ushered in a new era of art, albeit marked by tone-deaf celebrity videos along with bathtubs, basements, and broken records. Add this video to the museum too. New Kids on the Block brought together their … friends … Boyz II Men, Naughty by Nature, Big Freedia and Jordin Sparks for a new quarantune called “House Party” with an even more chaotic music video. All you need to know about the song is that it’s “for those about to lose their minds,” according to Donnie Wahlberg. But let’s break down the rich text that is this music video.

We open with a shot of Donnie with Boyz II Men singing in the background, like they went back to the ’80s and hit up the Walmart photo studio.

Does the Slugga costume protect from the coronavirus?

If Donnie dancing with two knockoff Cookie Monsters isn’t the most shocking image of this video, it’s definitely up there.

Yes, that’s Ken Jeong. He may have the right idea, closing his eyes during the video.

After an the introduction featuring Ms. Sparks, our second American Idol winner comes courtesy of New Kids on the Block fan Carrie Underwood. We’d ask why she’s not singing, but that’s actually the least of our questions so far.

Big Freedia certainly looks to be having the best house party of the crew.

Who is that in the bathrobe with Treach, and where’d he get that mask?

You do have to hand it to Vin Rock for having Naughty by Nature pillowcases and pajama pants.

Nicole Scherzinger will cleanse your screen after you finish watching this video.

In conclusion, let’s be honest: Whom did you actually miss before you saw this video?

Just like that, you’re four and a half minutes closer to getting out of quarantine. But at what cost?