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Former Love & Hip Hop: New York personality Tahiry Jose is speaking out about her allegedly violent relationship with ex Joe Budden.

In a new interview with Hollywood Unlocked, the 41-year-old former video vixen/entrepreneur opened up about some very dark days during her relationship with The Joe Budden Podcast host. But first, she provided an update on where they are currently.

“With Joey, there’s no telling,” she says around the 28-minute mark. “It’s just he’s pretty much unpredictable. I don’t now if I trust him too much. When it comes to Joe, it all depends … I let go and let god, so I’ve forgiven everything he did so it’s whatever to me.

“Fans just don’t know sometimes how to let go. I really wish they would. I know how I’m living. I think I’ve gotten annoyed in 10 years … let him live his life, let me live mine. It is what it is. We were so fuckin’ dynamic when we first got on the scene — and I’ll say first because he wasn’t doing that role when he first started — that people just lived through us. People loved our relationship, but there’s a lot that they don’t know. They’ve only seen what the shows and the edits have allowed them to see. I’m sure if they knew more of our lives, I’m sure they would leave me alone and they would understand why.”

Then Tahiry, who stars on Marriage Bootcamp: The Hip Hop Edition, was asked about the viral clip that showed co-star Vado lunging for her throat in a violent outburst. The conversation ultimately evolved into a confessional regarding her past with Budden and their toxic relationship.

Although it was clearly very hard for her to talk about, Tahiry’s body language initially confirmed domestic violence was indeed a part of her story with Budden.

“That’s a whole other show,” she said when asked about it. “How do you heal from something that you watch somebody lie about for so many years? … It’s hard to heal as a person. Imagine having to heal in the public eye. So I really never talked about none of this because how do you heal with all this noise? I think I’m a strong one, but it’s really painful to watch men do what they do and because they have a platform, lie about it to your face. It’s almost like you’re making a mockery, you’re making fun of me. It’s also my safety that I’m concerned about.

“I’m the oldest of 14. So, um, I think that the way I was dealing with being in a relationship with Joe was just tucking it, hiding it ’cause I can’t stop. I have to keep going because people rely on me ’cause I have to handle stuff, ’cause I have to grow in this business, ’cause I’m not going to fold. I’m not failing because you want me to and I just keep going until your trauma meets you. In the words of my friend Charlamagne, either you meet your trauma or your trauma will meet you. I didn’t into that house being to discuss being in domestic violence before, it juts met me face-to-face. Then watch your ex say something like, ‘Tahiry will fight a man.’ I didn’t fight him. I was scared to death.”

From there, Tahiry went into graphic detail about the abuse she allegedly suffered at the hands of Budden.

“I’ve been beaten before,” she continued. “That relationship left me with a fractured rib and a broken nose because somebody was sending him a message. And I used to always say, ‘Stop beefing out there, I’m still working.’ And he hit me on that nose and then pushed me down a flight of stairs. I remember having to talk him out of letting me go that day. I remember having a plan to leave because the reason he was so upset was because I was already leaving, looking through my phone and shit. But I had already told him give me two weeks to pack up my things. He agreed to it and then started looking through my phone. Next thing you know, I got woken up by him dragging me by my ankle. I managed to get up from that floor.

“I remember having everything in my bag, all the things that I needed to have in that bag — my passport, my birth certificate, you know, the shit that I needed. That’s all I needed and some money that I already had together … I knew better. I became that person that you hear about. Women need to know that a man will break your spirits before he actually puts his hands on you. It started with verbal abuse, emotional abuse and it eventually turned to that. I still fear for my safety. He hurt me bad and I just stayed quiet. I went to the hospital and he sat next to me. I lied to the doctors and said I was cleaning a cabinet and fell in the kitchen — and then he rapped about it.” 

Watch the full episode above.

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